but we fucked up that remedial.. english class because we were smoking pot and.. not in college.
right.
we can't move on to college, can we. so like--
now we're not in college, are we?
so.. so how do you move on to that new place to shop if you haven't taken that remedial english class and you got that last piece of that puzzle that won't fit together and your parents are like.. eating blood wafers..
grow sideburns. sideburns. they really help.
really?
yeah. they give you that distinctive look.
they do.
like standing out in a crowd.
they really do. they really do. a-and i.. that's why i think i don't fit in..
because you don't have any sideburns?
i can't grow em..
why not..
i just.. they just don't look right. i always cut em off..
..that's terrible. see the problem is you can't find the puzzle.. like the guy watching price is right--
i wanna--
eating blood wafers.
no, i wanted the puzzle like--
see, they have one.. they have one with your family! you just haven't been to the right place. you haven't seen the ones.. makes it easier to put it together when it's your family members face right there infront of you in puzzle pieces.. it's just that you don't know the fat man, but when it's your family.. you've realized what it's all about..
no, but you see.. i bought the.. the puzzle with the rat on the treadmill, the farm and the uh..
yeah.
decapitated goats.
that's the problem! you have to get the ones with the wafers! and the bloody trousers! and your family--
but i've already got all these puzzle pieces stuck together that like, are apart of me now, that like.. i mean, you can't sep-- once you like, become part of the puzzle piece you can't really separate yourself from it anymore--
so that makes you an artist.
i know, but.. i gotta get some more puzzle pieces!
you're an artist! you make your own pieces! use wafer. use pieces of wafer. use thumbtacks!
but what am i gonna do with all these weird puzzle pieces that weren't even supposed to be apart of me in the first place. i mean, i-- i try to keep my eyes open, i mean, i try to like-- i try to be very aware of what puzzle i was buying and when i open the box, i try to be really aware of like the pieces and making sure all the pieces were what was on the box.
could i--
but then i shove the pieces together, and-- it was too late! it was like, all this disjointed like, body figures and stuff, and i tried to convince myself that it was a flower, but it was not a flower, man! it was not a flower! and you know why, right!? i'm telling you, i know the answer, and it's this! you-- do you remember when you were talking about putting the-- the thumb-- the push pin and--
yes
and-- and--
and the blood. right. doesn't it all make sense now?
no!
did you-- did you find.. the sideburns. in-- in the puzzle.
no!
they're in the bottom! they're taped to the bottom!
i got these--
can i use them? can i please staple them on! that is the key!
you can do whatever you want! what you don't understand is that.. what you don't understand.. is that i thought it was a flower. but it wasn't. okay. it was part of the rat on the treadmill, and it was this dude's legs watching the price is right. okay.. and it was part of the blender, and i-- i convinced myself for so long that it was a flower, i mean, i spent years, and years, and years, convincing myself that these puzzle pieces added up to a flower, and man, it wasn't at all and then once i woke up i realized.. how do i trust other pieces? how do i take new pieces and put them together with-- with as much, y'know, vigor as i once did.. because.. what if.. what if they're not a flower either.. what if they're just like..
they gotta be animal pieces! they might be animal pieces! pieces of goats.
well that's what i was trying for! there was like a rat and a goat in the whole thing and the goats didn't have any hands.
and you bought this at walmart?
and that's what i wanted! that's what all i wanted! i mean, it's all i wante-- i mean, since i was a kid! since i was a kid! i-it just-- it just-- i was just-- i was just amazed--
have you never gotten a puzzle together?
no..
ever?
never.. they're all these disjointed pieces i convince myself to be flowers.
you have a serious problem, young man.
i know i do. but i don't think i'm much different from anybody else, i bet everybody else's got a buncha like.. sudo flowers in their pockets that're really just dumb pieces of this weird puzzle that aren't supposed to fit together..
no.
i mean, i hope i'm not alone in this thing, y'know..
you are.
well it sure feels that way, y'know when i go through the newstands and stuff and read the magazines and everybody seems to have their flower so perfectly put together, you know..
because, see what they do is that like, they can like take you in a studio and they can like take your photograph and make it look like you got your pieces puzzled together really well, y'know and they can-- they can do anything these days! the-- the way you package it--
it's all computers! they got their shit together!
right! they can make it look like you got your flower together, but they really don't!
but it makes the people that don't have their flowers together feel really small, and insignificant..
you are.. but that's what makes all the difference, you're an artist.
but i'm not insignificant.. because my flower isn't any more pursed together than anybody elses flower.. i mean, an if-- i guess if i had like a record company or something they could like take my photo and make it look like my flower was together then i'd be okay, but i'm not-- i don't wanna do that, because then all these people with no flowers pursed together would be comin to me, like.. treating me like i was somebody who had my flower put together, and i don't, and it'd be a big lie.. and then i'd be doing swanson tv dinner ads when i was fifteen that'd be a real smuck and commit suicide on the brooklyn bridge.. there wouldn't be much point in that, would it?
no, you're an artist! i told you a hundred times! you see what you-- the part that you don't understand.. what is there to not understand?
i-i-- i--
it's so hard for me to explain it to you, because.. see i-- i see that you.. you're a bit off, actually.
i'm very off. i didn't realize how off i was until i pulled my pieces of puzzle out of my pocket and.. and saw it for what it really was..
did you try tape?
it was stuck together! it's-- i wish i could pull them apart! if i could pull them apart that'd be okay but i can't.. they're stuck together..
i see..
and i like came home and showed it to my folks really proud of my flower and.. that's when i realized..
you should be in college.. i should be in college..
" we are here to make a better world. no amount of rationalization or blaming can preempt the moment of choice each of us brings to our situation here on this planet. the lesson of the '60s is that people who cared enough to do right could change history. we didn't end racism but we ended legal segregation. we ended the idea that you could send half-a-million soldiers around the world to fight a war that people do not support. we ended the idea that women are second-class citizens. we made the environment an issue that couldn't be avoided. the big battles that we won cannot be reversed. we were young, self-righteous, reckless, hypocritical, brave, silly, headstrong and scared half to death.
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